I’d work all night if it meant nothing got done.” But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. “Normally, if given the choice between doing something and nothing, I’d choose to do nothing.“Keep your tears in your eyes-where they belong.”.Don’t teach a man to fish…and feed yourself. “Give a man a fish and feed him for a day.Deal with your problems yourselves, like adults.” “If any of you need anything at all, too bad.“Don’t start chasing applause and acclaim.“I’d wish you the best of luck, but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures.”.Try not to hurt anyone who doesn’t deserve it.” “One rage every three months is permitted.“Sting like a bee, but do not float like a butterfly.“There are three acceptable haircuts: high and tight, crew cut, buzz cut.”.“There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and hunger.”.NBC // Getty Images Ron Swanson's Life Advice “I would rather bleed out than sit here and talk about my feelings for 10 minutes.”.“Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat and cats are useless.”.“Birthdays were invented by Hallmark to sell cards.”.“Cowardice and weak-willed men… and hazelnuts.”.Anything more and this becomes figure skating.” But as long as I sit still and don’t move my head or torso, I’m good. But uh, this morning, I made the mistake of sneezing. I’ve had it for a while, and I’ve been ignoring it successfully. That folder, in my hands, is far deadlier than this bow of yours." "Literally everything is a weapon, son.Everything that happened before that was a mistake.” The reception will be held in each of our individual houses, alone.” It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something.” “Crying: Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.”. “Capitalism: God’s way of determining who is smart and who is poor.”.And then again when I heard that Li’l Sebastian had passed.” Once when I was 7 and hit by a school bus. “When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.”.That's not a lesson, by the way, just a comment on lumber availability."
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